On the theory that we’d better have at least a few laughs before the year ends, I pass on the following quiz on the year that shouldn’t have been from the Insight section of last Sunday’s San Francisco Chronicle.
We’re now ruled by the gang that can’t shoot straight (but who cares since the weaponry they possess can take out everything in sight), or talk straight (but who’s paying attention). I know, I know, starting in the early 90s, they (or their supporters in think tanks funded by right-wing beer billionaires) wrote plans of every sort for world domination. So why do I think that there’s something totally seat-of-the-pants about their planning? Like kids with their hands in the cookie jar, they have yet to see a situation they could resist plundering.
Personally, I don’t fear an American empire. With these guys in charge, I fear a world in rubble. I don’t know about you, but on days when I don’t wake up hoping it’s all been a bad dream, I have an inordinate urge to tell our aging but painfully adolescent rulers, playing out dreams of power and glory freeze-dried in cold war childhoods, just to grow up. Let’s hope someday we can say we had the last laugh. Tom
The year in politics: A quiz
Daniel Kurtzmann
December 22, 2002
San Francisco ChroniclePick one:
1 What did Attorney General John Ashcroft do to a pair of partially nude statues in the Great Hall of the Justice Department
A. Fitted them with chastity belts
B. Draped curtains in front of them at a cost to taxpayers of more than $8, 000
C. Decried them as part of an epidemic of “Girls Gone Wild”
D. Serenaded them with a stirring rendition of his blockbuster hit, “Let the Eagle Soar”
Pick one:
1 What did Attorney General John Ashcroft do to a pair of partially nude statues in the Great Hall of the Justice Department
A. Fitted them with chastity belts
B. Draped curtains in front of them at a cost to taxpayers of more than $8, 000
C. Decried them as part of an epidemic of “Girls Gone Wild”
D. Serenaded them with a stirring rendition of his blockbuster hit, “Let the Eagle Soar”
2 Death Star, Fat Boy, Get Shorty and Ricochet are all names for what?
A. Domestic security programs proposed by John Ashcroft to monitor the movements of all citizens at all times
B. Schemes Enron used to manipulate California’s electricity market
C. Schemes Enron used to manipulate Dick Cheney’s energy task force
D. Nicknames given by President Bush to senior members of his Cabinet
E. Nicknames given by Trent Lott to his buddies
Daniel Kurtzmann is a San Francisco writer and former Washington political correspondent.